For When You Feel Like You're Not Enough (2024)

Do you feel like you’re not enough? Not pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough? Let’s look at what the Bible says about being enough.

It was 2 am and darkness blanketed more than just the lonely hotel room. As sleep teased my exhausted heart, the light from my phone illuminated the moment. The message was as long as it was heavy, making the tears difficult to push back.

“My greatest struggle is I don’t feel like I’m enough. My track record proves the truth; I’m not successful enough, not a good enough parent, not attractive enough…I’m not enough to ever be loved”

For When You Feel Like You're Not Enough (1)

I’ve thought about those words for weeks now. Crafting a response to my friend that night was difficult because every one of those fears was a lie in my eyes, and yet every one of those fears was true in the world’s eyes. The measure of success, attractiveness, and parenting ability was something my friend had indeed failed at…if we are letting the culture decide.

And to be honest, I’ve tried the relationship thing, too. People put standards of “lovable” on each other that most of us truly never could live up to.

As I fumbled for a response, the text message stirred up something in me I had worked so hard to conquer, and that night I too gave in to the lies. Together we wallowed in a sea of “not enoughs.” Maybe you have felt some too…

  • Not pretty enough
  • Not tall enough
  • Not thin enough
  • Not smart enough
  • Not successful enough
  • Not patient enough
  • Not creative enough
  • Not a good enough parent
  • Not educated enough
  • Not talented enough
  • Not organized enough

The reality was heavy on my heart that night. In this cookie cutter world, all of those things might be true about my friend. About me. And maybe even about you. We’re not enough to compete with airbrushed bodies, Martha Stewart kitchens, or even the mom next door. Given the list, we will always fall short somewhere.

But what if God never wanted us to live in a cookie cutter world? What if God has a completely different set of standards for His “list”?

Ok, it’s not so much a “what if” question. Do you realize that? God has absolutely NO INTENTION of us living in a cookie cutter world where the “enoughs” are defined by a culture that has little desire for the things of heaven. Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever considered how we look at ourselves and create a list of requirements that doesn’t even line up with what God wants for us?

Usually we rehearse a few verses to remind ourselves that God says we are enough and then we go to bed feeling only a tiny bit less defeated. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea to quote verses or to remind ourselves that God says we’re enough. Both are important, but it’s only a temporary band-aid. If we want to stay out of the gutter of “not-enoughs” we have to change the way we think about what it means to “be enough.”

What the Bible says about “being enough”

1. You’re not enough. (That’s the hard truth.)

First we need to clear up something super important. WE AREN’T ENOUGH. We never will be and we weren’t created to be. God created us to depend on Him for everything. Alone, we are sinful, wretched people, capable of nothing good. Even our best attempts are filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). We can’t do anything of value without Christ.

So, we’re not enough.

This might sound horrible to you, but it’s actually a blessing. It’s a relief. We don’t have to even try to be “enough” because God already has that covered for us. It’s His job. It’s not our job to be perfect parents or the answer to our spouse’s deepest struggle. We need to leave that stuff up to God. We are simply vessels for His use, not the answer to people’s problems.

2. God uses both our successes and failures.

Nearly every single person mentioned in the Bible was a tragic failure. Have you ever considered that? David murdered and cheated. Jonah ran. Elijah couldn’t hold himself together. Peter denied Jesus. Paul persecuted Christians.

The list goes on and on. The trouble is, we focus on the good stuff these people did. We focus on their successes and victories. Know why? Because the Bible is written to help us do just that. It’s the perfect reflection of exactly how God sees us…not as the summary of life’s failures, but as the success of His mercy and grace.

Psalm 145:14 reminds us that God upholds us when we fall. Like He did with each of the people in the Bible, He uses our mistakes and failures to teach us more about Him, to show His mercy, and to encourage others as they find themselves unable to measure up.

No one in the Bible was “enough” by our culture’s standards. Their list would have been much longer than the one I made above. Moses wasn’t a good enough speaker. Gideon wasn’t a good enough soldier. Eve wasn’t a good enough wife or mother. And it’s a good thing, too. Because if any of these people had “been enough” we would likely be tempted to look to them instead of looking to the cross.

That’s why it’s important that we as Christians never fall victim to the push to be enough. The people around us will always find disappointment in what we can offer them, but they will find God to be enough for their every need, want, and desire. If we attempt to be enough for them, we rob them of the blessing of finding God to be enough.

3. God uses both strengths and weaknesses to show His glory in our lives.

If there is one lesson I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older, it’s the beauty of both our strengths and weaknesses. I know we think we were all created the same, but it’s not true. We are all of the same value to God, but that doesn’t mean we all look, feel, think, act, or are gifted in the same ways. As a Christian, this is truly a huge relief. Why? Well, we don’t have to do it all or be everything to everyone.

God makes it clear we all have different roles in the body of Christ. Some are better teachers and some are better at coming alongside you with support. I’m sure you’ve noticed this. I’m one of those people who is much better at teaching or leading than I am at supporting someone in a compassionate way. For years I fought this and felt guilty about it.

I used to pray that God would make me into one of those compassionate types. You know, the ones who always remember your granny is in the hospital and are the first to reach out to help when you need it. I knew people around me who were so good at this and felt sure I needed to grow because clearly I was awful at it.

But over the years, I began to see that God didn’t gift me that way. It’s not that I don’t care. OH, I DO CARE. I just don’t see the hurts and needs the same way others do. I have to work very hard to remember even my close friends and ask about their problems because my natural bent, the things God created me to be good at, don’t include that “caregiving” type compassion others are blessed with.

I’m not saying I shouldn’t try my best, only that I shouldn’t try to be what God created someone else to be. It’s ok if I’m not as compassionate as someone else.It’s taken me most of 40 years to come to a place where I can say (in my right mind anyway) that I am still enough. Even though compassion isn’t my top quality, God gave me other things and I’ve learned to appreciate those things and use them for HIS glory.

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My friend, that’s what life is about. It’s not about being like your friend, neighbor, or that person who seems to have everything right. We aren’t cookies made to live on display. We are creations of a Holy God who intends to get His glory by using both the strengths and weaknesses in our lives to show Himself faithful to others.

It’s where our own abilities and efforts end that God can truly shine through us in a way that impacts those around us.

I love this truth. I also love the freedom it brings us. Instead of beating ourselves up over what we never will be, we can focus on what we are naturally good at and ask God (and others) to help us in those places we are not as strong.

This isn’t a sign of weakness, failure, or a good reason not to have a relationship with another person. It’s the beauty of the body of Christ. When we LEAN on the people around us who are gifted in those areas where we are tempted to fall back into the “not-enough syndrome,” we allow their gift to bless us and everyone has a secure and needed part in the family of God.

What to do when you feel like you’re not enough

The first thing you can do when you struggle with not feeling like you’re enough is to go back up and remind yourself of the three truths I stated above. Write them down in your journal or on a notecard.

Do whatever it takes to remind yourself that you don’t have to be enough. You don’t want to please the world’s standards anyway, and your weaknesses/failures are the very thing God uses to show Himself faithful to others around you.

Reprogramming this way of thinking takes time, so go over those truths often. Every time you start to go down the wrong path, pull them out and speak them out loud several times.

Yes, I really want you to speak them out loud. When we proclaim God’s truth out loud, the enemy shudders. The strongholds he wants to claim over our mind can’t stand up to our verbal declaration that those things are lies, so keep at it until it’s no longer something you struggle with.

The second thing you absolutely have to do is guard your heart against “band-aids” that won’t fix the problem. I’m reminded of an old country song I listened to in my teens. The lyrics claim, “One good love erases all.” Ha. What a crazy lie. You can’t cover up your past hurts or failures with other people, better situations, money, drugs, sex, chocolate ice cream, or anything else you might medicate with.

Only God erases all. Everything else is a band-aid that will fall off, leaving you exposed once again.

I wish I could tell you the whole story here, but let me promise you I’ve bought these lies and know first hand that no man will make you “pretty enough.” No amount of money will make you “successful enough.” All of those things fail in time. God is the only one who will never EVER fail you.

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Scripture for when you feel like you’re not enough

  • Deuteronomy 7:6 – For you are a people holy to the LORDyour God. The LORDyour God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.
  • Zephaniah 3:17 – The LORDyour God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
  • Psalm 139:14 – I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

These promises are for you and they are 100% true. We’ve included a printable for you to hang somewhere where you will see it often and remember: through Christ’s love, you are more than enough.

Print out this verse printable to meditate on when you need God’s reminder of who you are to Him. Frame and place it in your house in a spot where you will be reminded daily. Put it in your purse. Hang it on your fridge–whatever it takes to remember the promises that He has given you. If you aren’t struggling with this right now, just file it away for when you are. I know that in my life, these kinds of feelings can creep up even when I least expect them.

I would suggest printing this verse on 8.5 x 11cardstockas it will be more sturdy.

Lastly, I would encourage you to bask in God’s truth—that’s the Bible. It’s not anything I’ve said here or anything friends, counselors, or pastors will share either. You have to personally know what God says and what He thinks concerning you. I’ve included some verses to start with in the printable. Look them up and mark them in your Bible.

More Ways to Cling to His Promises:

I have created these#NotConsumed Scripture Cardsas a way to help you meditate on Scripture daily. These inspirational cards are prayerfully curated promises from God’s Word that will support and encourage you as you seek to trust God with life’s moments.Clickhereto find out more.

Your turn—> Share your favorite verse or tip for others who feel like they’re not enough. Let’s build each other up!

For When You Feel Like You're Not Enough (5)

Kimberly Sorgius Jones

Through practical tools & Bible-based resources, Kim Sorgius is dedicated to helping your family GROW in faith so you can be Not Consumed by life’s struggles. Author of popular kid’s devotional Bible studies and practical homeschooling tools, Kim has a master’s degree in education and curriculum design coupled with over 2 decades of experience working with kids and teens. Above all, her most treasured job is mother and homeschool teacher of four amazing kiddos.

For When You Feel Like You're Not Enough (2024)

FAQs

What does it mean when you feel like you're not enough? ›

A feeling of not being good enough often indicates that a person has low self-esteem. Self-esteem is a personality construct defined by how a person perceives their self-meaning, self-identity, self-image, and self-concepts.

What is it called when you don't feel like you're enough? ›

Someone with an inferiority complex has deep-seated feelings of inadequacy across different aspects of their lives. They may constantly compare themselves to others, withdraw from social or competitive situations, or put others down in an attempt to feel better about themselves.

What do you do when you feel like you're never enough? ›

Stop Comparing and Competing With Others

However, everyone has different traits, so no individual can meet every ideal parameter. To find peace, you can aim to stop comparing yourself to others and societal standards. Trying to live up to impossible standards only reinforces feelings of not being “good enough.”

How do I stop feeling like I'm not enough? ›

So when you notice that voice of not good enough permeate in your mind, invite yourself to take a pause and take a moment to practice self compassion-- offer yourself a kind word, offer yourself a loving gesture, and/or offer yourself the same love and kindness you would offer a friend who is believing something so ...

How do I heal if I am not enough? ›

Ten Ways to Heal the "Not Good Enough" Wound
  1. Find self-compassion. We all had to find ways to fit in as children. ...
  2. Forgive your forgetting. ...
  3. Summon courage. ...
  4. Create safety. ...
  5. Encourage yourself. ...
  6. Repetition is the key. ...
  7. No one will save you. ...
  8. Always be kind to yourself.

How do you deal with feeling insufficient? ›

How to Overcome Feelings of Inadequacy
  1. Modify your expectations and ideals. ...
  2. Seek help from others. ...
  3. Build skills and expertise. ...
  4. Cultivate emotion regulation skills. ...
  5. Practice self-compassion. ...
  6. Build a growth mindset. ...
  7. Focus on your strengths.
Jun 7, 2022

What is a word for feeling not enough? ›

Inadequate.” Merriam-Webster.com Thesaurus, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/inadequate.

How to feel worthy again? ›

Building Self-Worth
  1. Connect to supportive people.
  2. Forgive yourself.
  3. Practice self-compassion.
  4. Be there for yourself.

What mental illness makes you feel not good enough? ›

People without social anxiety can also feel a lack of confidence and competence. Imposter syndrome often causes normally non-anxious people to experience a sense of anxiety when they are in situations where they feel inadequate.

Why do I feel I'm not enough for him? ›

Low self-esteem or insecurity

If you feel you don't fit the definition of the perfect partner, parent, or friend, you may begin to experience low self-esteem and have untrue negative thoughts about yourself that can lead you to feel insecure or unworthy of love and respect.

Why do I feel like I'm inadequate? ›

Often, the feelings of inadequacy are the result of negative comparison-thinking. We are all prone to comparisons as a self-evaluation tool. But too often, while comparing ourselves to others, we feel like we come up short and can never measure up to the standards set by others – or by our own internal critic.

How to help someone who doesn't feel like they are enough? ›

So, the next time you're with a friend who's in the habit of putting themselves down, here's how to lift them up:
  1. Don't dismiss their not-so-subtle drags. ...
  2. Learn together. ...
  3. Step up as a role model. ...
  4. Swerve the negative self-talk. ...
  5. Remind them who the heck they are.
Nov 1, 2023

How to make yourself feel like you are enough? ›

In a four-step process, it can do the same for you.
  1. Step 1: Face your fears. When you start asking yourself the right questions about why you're not feeling good enough, you'll find it's related to fear and anxiety. ...
  2. Step 2: Become accountable. ...
  3. Step 3: Re-focus on your goals. ...
  4. Step 4: Create a personalized plan.

Why do we feel that we are not enough? ›

This feeling you are experiencing is a result of low self-worth. This can happen if you grew up in a household that had certain difficulties such as mental/physical health issues and/or financial problems. Reevaluate your past and see if you were guilted into behaving a certain way.

What to do when you feel like you never have enough time? ›

  1. Get Clear on Your Priorities. Feeling like you never have enough time likely means you're making too many things a priority. ...
  2. Minimize Distractions. Now more than ever, we live in a world dominated by distractions. ...
  3. Get Enough Sleep. ...
  4. Maintain a Good Outlook. ...
  5. Learn to Relax.

What's the word when you feel like you're not good enough? ›

Impostor Syndrome is a thought process or feeling that you are not good enough or don't deserve success, despite your accomplishments. People who suffer from Impostor Syndrome often feel like they are frauds and worry that they will be "found out" by their colleagues or friends.

How do you start feeling like you're enough? ›

In a four-step process, it can do the same for you.
  1. Step 1: Face your fears. When you start asking yourself the right questions about why you're not feeling good enough, you'll find it's related to fear and anxiety. ...
  2. Step 2: Become accountable. ...
  3. Step 3: Re-focus on your goals. ...
  4. Step 4: Create a personalized plan.

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